I was strolling along a street in Medina with some of my friends and we weren’t quite sure where we had ended up.
We had travelled to the Middle East for the Haj pilgrimage and were in Medina to pay our respects at the shrine of the Prophet Mohammed SAW. We knew our way around the main roads. We knew the route to the Haram and back to our hotel, but having ended up in some inner streets, we were lost. We needed to get back to a familiar spot.
After a little over-reliance on our instincts to find our way, and a few associated wrong turns, as the heat began to get to us, we decided to ask someone.
The first person we saw was washing a van on the curbside. He was an Arab man, but seeing that he was dressed in a shirt and pants, I guessed he wasn’t the owner of the van. Maybe he was the driver.
I walked up to him and said:, ‘لو سمحت اشرنا الى طريق الحرم” – Could you please guide us toward the Haram. I spoke in a courteous tone, and that too, after approaching him hesitantly as a show of respect to his space and attention. He ignored me. I thought he hadn’t heard me- so I said again – يا اخاي – O brother, could you please direct… .He interrupted me, with pointed brows and a sharp gaze. ‘What is wrong with you?’ he said. ‘You approach me, and begin speaking without even saying salaam!’. This man was clearly and absolutely annoyed and disgusted. So much so, that I was only able to apologize and get on my way searching for someone else to ask for directions. With the next person I saw, I made sure I started with a greeting.
Being a Muslim myself, I should have known better. Always greet with salaam before you speak.
The Islamic greeting ‘Assalaamo Alaikum’ could be translated to; “May peace/wellbeing be with you”. And as per Islamic traditions, one should always greet before speaking.
While the value and thoughts behind this particular greeting are a subject on their own, I started thinking simply about the idea of having a formal greeting. Something a little more than Hi or Hello. The army has salutes for example.
A greeting is an ice breaker for one. Traditionally, anyone who enters any place is expected to greet the people there. And they in turn should then greet him back. This helps to break down the barriers of awkwardness as well as carelessness. A tone of brotherhood and friendliness ensues, setting the stage for a higher quality of human interaction.
This is also a show of respect. I acknowledge that I see and value the fellow human beings whose company I’ve just joined. I have my tasks and work in mind. I may be busy. I may even have worries or troubles. And yet, I recognize that the people I’ve just walked in on, must also have their own hopes, wants, tasks, worries and so on. So I greet them. I acknowledge that we are all together in this human experience. The greeting evokes a positive and compassionate sense for all involved.
Giving, and getting respect in this way has another side effect. You come to expect it. Just like my friend, the van driver. It wasn’t relevant who I was. Whether my conversation with him was trivial, important, short or long. He expected to be shown the respect of a greeting. That must have the subte effect of building a strong feeling of self and sureness. Despite circumstancial differences, each person should come to feel that they are valuable in their own way. (Link to hajare sageer). And expecting a formal greeting could be a positive nudge in that direction. Done consistently, it could even be a big step in building a positive and supportive society. There’s a beauty to such simple but effective things. They help to add a softer, lighter side to life, while achieving greater concrete goals. (link to simple but effective).
Is beauty necessary in the mundane daily interactions of life ? Well, it’s just as necessary as beauty in anything else. Could I have an office with badly painted walls and an ugly desk. I suppose, from a certain point of view, it seems like that would suffice. That a person who is intent on getting the job done will do it anyway, regardless of the setting. But anyone who has experienced the results of a little thought into the interior decor of a place and the effect that has on the thinking and work standards of those who use it, would know that it does make a difference. Beauty, we may be able to say, is an unnecessary necessity.
Think of the barista who takes the extra effort to say ‘Hello sir, good morning!’, versus the one who just stands there blank-faced and takes your order. They both get the job done, but there’s a very big difference. The former, adds something more to our lives, and probably hooks us in as return customers too. Not only for the coffee, but because of a subconscious liking that extends from the greeting to everything else.
That said, in the Islamic tradition, this does not apply only to those we intend to meet, but to anyone who is occupying a space that we arrive at. This is what gives it extra weight. While we can of course, greet the people at our workspaces, we could also greet the people in an elevator as we enter it.
On top of that, there is the case of important people greeting someone who society may deem to be lesser. There’s an amazing opportunity to solidify the human commonness that I mentioned earlier. Think of a C.E.O greeting the office boy, who is otherwise accustomed to being and feeling less important.
So, the next time we meet someone, or just arrive at a place occupied by other fellow human beings, let’s do it with a smile, and a greeting. Maybe a ‘good morning’ at least.