Interested in some boundary-line-wisdom ?
Tony Skyheart was a child prodigy, master stroke player from the crib. He MVP’ed all through the under 16’s at his school to club level and was now about to debut for the national team.
I was excited beyond words. And the dressroom was too. Our team had been in dire need of some new talent and dear Skyheart seemed to be the perfect infusion to bring the team back up to its old glory. Above all, our team captain, coming off an embarrassing losing streak, was anxiously looking forward to a morale boost.
I remember like it was yesterday. It was a slightly overshadowed day, which added the feeling of melancholy and emotion. Tony sat quietly in the dressing room before going out. As he descended down the stadium stairs, our captain met him for a few last words. He probably reiterated the gist of what he’d been telling him at practice about relaxing into his natural shots, without letting the crowds or pressure of debut get to him. ‘Don’t think of it as do or die, just let it flow naturally’. Ron the captain, was famously a mentor for young players. And he was deeply invested in Skyheart, who he fancied as his final prodigy.
Tony was opening the batting, and entered the ground to a standing ovation. Our fans had poured in for this, the first match of the series, with high hopes. He usually swung his bat twice in a forward drive motion as he made his way to the pitch, but today he just jogged straight to the popping crease.
Most batsmen have a routine. Some tap a shoe with their bat. Some twist their head from side to side. Some adjust their pads, then ball guard, then gloves, in an orderly ritual. I feel like that’s how they sync their brains and bats. They get their chi in order. They wake up their keen muscle memory. They get in rhythm. [link to piece on rhythm]
I’d watched Tony through his club level carreer, so I knew his routine. As a fan, the routine of each man got me in high spirits too. I expected it. Looked forward to it. I rose into cheer with the flow of it. Tony had departed from his usual routine a little, but I brushed it off in my minds eye even though it did feel off-beat. It was a small miss and he looked as usual when he got into his stance.
First ball, in-swinger, out for a duck !
Absolute disarray, shock and silence. It seems I was more keenly attuned to the players than I had believed and the little miss, was a sign of something being misaligned.
At the next match, Skyheart awkwardly played on for an over, and then, went out for 20. He was bowled out on a ball that shouldn’t have foxed him. Now, we were puzzled. The first match could have been about the nerves but was this becoming a pattern ? We held our breadth for one more match, only to be disappointed by a weak lob to mid-off, which had him caught-out for 15.
Something was off, but no one, least of all Tony, could make sense of it. As he stepped onto the grounds something seemed to flip. His strokes were pensive and unsure. He didn’t seem to see the ball like he was known to. Or maybe he simply wasn’t as talented as expected to be, and was now out of his league. No one was sure.
Tony and the team were now down 3-0 in a five match series.
Leading into the fourth and fifth matches of the series, all was lost except the chance for some dignity.
We lost the fourth match in similar style. Tony was out for 12, the top order crumbled, and although Metti Mathews our trusty off-spinner – spun off some crazy shots for a quick 40, we were all out for 150 in 30 overs. When the opposition came into bat, our bowlers did their best, but just couldn’t prevent the odd four and six. Before we knew it the game was over.
In that fourth match, as if we needed any more despair, our captain was injured as he pulled his hamstring while racing to turn a six into a catch. A desperate snatch and step over the boundary line to end up conceding a six and laying down injured.
The next day we went to the nets, with vice-captain Tristan, as Captain.
This practice session before the 5th match was quite different. Expectations were low and losing expected, so the boys had decided to just have some fun and do what they could. This was the half hearted kind of fun you would expect from a hopeless person. There wasn’t any punch in it. They didn’t expect the team to turn around in one day so they had resigned themselves to loss, rather than risk being hurt after hope.
This was exacerbated by our proxy captain, who was timid natured, and not expected to pull a rabbit out of his hat. Tristan was a decent batsman, but a sidekick leader at best. What a stark change to the charged environment of practice just a few days ago. Captain Ron was a go-getter. He played to win and expected the same out of his team. I loved watching him in action at the nets. Sometimes he lashed out too, but all was forgiven when the victory laps were taken. He raised his people to their best performance ,without asking or apologising. He was a legend of years passed, although the current season was going very badly. We always had high hopes with him at the helm. But this was a different day with a different captain.
With this meak mood we went into the game. The 5th and final. The stands were still full and the atmosphere on game day still electric. I suppose people turn up to a game regardless of how they expect it to go, once they’ve bought their tickets. Since tickets are sold before the series starts, the last days tickets are often bought out with the hopes that it’ll be the decider match if the series was drawn till then. And, our supporters, being disconnected from the dressroom mood, still seemed hopeful. Or they were just cheering on, because that’s what you do at a game.
For Tony, it was his last chance of redemption. His last chance to prove he can swim with the big fish. That’s what Captain Ron would have told him. But proxy hadn’t said that. Proxy hadn’t said much at all in fact. He spoke dully to the team as he addressed them the previous day. He didn’t even give a pre-game pep talk. Everyone just came into the dressroom, got their things and walked onto the grounds. I was irritated at this. He needed to get them pumped up, focused and determined. Especially Tony. His whole carreer was on the line ! I had no say of course, so I just bottled up my thoughts and crossed my fingers.
I expected a dejected Tony and team to be even more disappointing than the days before. But I was wrong. The solemn mood seemed to have calmed his nerves and the brilliant stroke player that we had hoped for emerged silently after an over or two.
He dug out a yorker for a four. Shot a six over the bowler’s head. And tapped the ball skillfully to gully for a two. He began to glow. Our team poured out into the balcony. Something was different. The dream of Tony Skyheart was no more just that. It was real. As he strolled on to reach half a century and raised his bat to an enthralled crowd, he had proven himself worthy. He was caught out at 68 in a brilliant bit of fielding, but the morale was up by then. We still lost that match in a nail biting last over, but a sliver of hope had infected the players. Bowlers who had seemed formidable yesterday, had been hit around the ground. The opposing captain had been shuffling around his game plan as Skyheart seemed to find all the gaps in the field. The unsurmountable seemed doable. Our team had found their champion and soon rallied around him.
What I’ve seen as a career fan is unique compared to any of the MVP’s, coaches, managers or such.
As a stalwart supporter, I have access to all areas the team goes, yet never the pressure or responsibility. I’m in there with them at the training sessions and at the highs and lows of game time. I hear the pep talks and even some of the one-on-ones. However, mentally, I’m actually on the outside of it all. So, my perspective is unique. I see things that those in the thick of it may not.
When I look back at our run to the world cup win of last year, I mark that 5th and final match of the previous season’s final series, as the turning point in our losing streak. And from it, I have coined in my mind what I call ‘The boomerang effect’.
Many times, the emotion you project is returned back to you like a boomerang. You shout out ‘Relax mate, be cool, play out an over or two and then get into stride’, however, your anxious emotion is what their subconscious mind remembers. On the other hand, actually be calm yourself, and that is what they hold on to. Just like a boomerang. It comes back like it was thrown. Though they may start out hidden in tone and body language, the emotions you feel when speaking, go much further than words ever can.
Captain Ron, having fallen from the grace of his earlier days, and having so much riding on poor Tony, was terribly anxious. And Skyheart, relying on this legendary captain to propell him into the big leagues, absorbed that feeling and couldn’t shake it when he went to the crease. For Tony it was like a father and son relationship. And Ron’s words ‘Just focus and do what you do !’ didn’t latch on like his emotions did. Although other factors may also have been at play, I believe this played the pivotal role in Tony’s failures, and then with vice-captain Tristan, in his success. Tony boomeranged back the anxiousness of Ron and the detached calm of Tristan.
Ron kept upping his motivation, and kept saying to Tony; ‘Don’t worry, tomorrow will be your day’. But in fact, as every day went on Ron was more anxious when he said it. He was hoping Tony would be the solution, but little did he know that he himself was the problem.
So, if ever you find yourself in a tricky spot, take some time to breathe. Make sure you have your own emotions in check before you hope to influence others. And if you do throw an emotional boomerang, watch out. It’s likely to come back and hit you in the face !
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This effect, although true for all ages, holds truer in the younger and more malleable. Ironically, it is with them that we mostly get it wrong. With a full grown person, we will not try to pressure too much, as we tend to trust them to manage themselves. That sureness, when projected, in fact reinforces their own confidence, and when they perform well, a positive feedback loop is established. With a novice, we are often tempted to go the other way. Since we, ourselves, are anxious about how they’ll hold up, that gets projected.
Often, all we need to do, is to set up the environment for success and let things flow naturally from there.
In any kind of teaching or coaching, this is particularly enhanced. A fidgety child will only get more fidgety if the teacher is annoyed and affected by him. It takes a fair share of constraint, but if you want the child to settle down, you must settle down. If you want him not to be distracted by things around him, you must not be distracted by his little quirks. One difficulty in trying to do this, is that the effect is often delayed. The osmosis of your calmness and composure may only affect the child in time. Not on the spot. In that case, words by Edmond Dantes come to mind: Wait and Hope.
This is crucial in relationships too. Often we get annoyed or angry, hoping for a change in behaviour from our friend or significant other. This is rarely helpful. The more likely thing to happen is that the emotion or behavior we project, will return to bite us back. This is obvious, yet counterintuitive. We would expect that when we seem annoyed or irritated, our partner will be moved to alleviate that. That our annoyance will signal them to be kinder or more empathetic. However, they will mostly just feel annoyed and irritated too. While speaking about our grievances is helpful, being grieved is not. Instead, maintaining our humour while we express our needs, pushes our partners and friends to do the same.